Every week we break down your matchups, call out the dumb decisions, and crown your league's biggest disasters. And we remember every single blunder, all season long — so the roasts get more personal every week.
Other recap tools roast one week and forget it ever happened. RoastWeek keeps the file open — every benched breakout, every heartbreak loss, every repeat offense goes on the record. The callbacks stack. The running jokes build. The stakes escalate.
Mike handled business like a man with direct deposit. Lamar Jackson dropped 28.9 without breaking a sweat, De'Von Achane hit 24.1 like the floor owed him money, and even Mike's defense chipped in double digits — because this week, everybody wanted a piece of Derek.
Derek? Oh, Derek. His wife left in March. His starting lineup left in September. At least the lineup had the decency to stay on the roster. He benched Puka Nacua (27.4) on a "gut feeling" — the same gut that has now benched a game-winning lineup THREE times this season (Weeks 2, 7, and now 11). Derek's bench is 3–0. Derek is 3–8. The lawyers let him keep the couch. The couch is outscoring his starters.
And before the rest of you start laughing — Derek didn't do this alone. Somebody in this league traded him Puka Nacua in Week 4 for a kicker and a running back who has been on IR since Halloween. That somebody is Vanessa. Vanessa is 8–3 and would be 11–0 if she hadn't swapped a top-ten receiver for a leg and a hospital bill. Every Derek loss has a co-author. We've been keeping the manuscript.
And the best part?
Derek talked trash in the group chat Thursday night. We have it. It's timestamped. It aged like milk in a hot car — and with this loss, he's mathematically eliminated with three weeks left, the earliest elimination in Sunday Scaries history. Records were made to be broken. Just usually not these ones.